


Next To Normal

by SpookyKiwiBird



Series: Kiwi Drabbles [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Character Death, F/F, Mentions of Suicide, Multi, Seriously this is depressing, Toxic Relationship, be warned, don't judge me I was sad, mentions of depression, missing person, really angsty, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 13:52:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15642072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpookyKiwiBird/pseuds/SpookyKiwiBird
Summary: "I miss her."A silence. A heartbeat. "Me too." came the simple answer.After the death of Narti, the disappearance of Lotor and Acxa's abandonment Ezor and Zethrid struggle to go back to normal. Bitter memories and sad flashbacks lead Ezor and Zethrid to seek comfort in each other. Things may never be normal again, but something next to normal would be fine.





	Next To Normal

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, so this is really depressing. I don't know where it came from honestly. Keep in mind the tags before you read this though.
> 
> I originally intended for this to be much shorter but it turned out a little longer so enjoy, please.

Do you ever wish things could go back to the way they were? When there were 5 people instead of 4 or 3 or now 2. To a time where your girlfriend wasn’t dead or your boyfriend wasn’t missing or your other girlfriend didn’t abandon you. To a place where instead of sobbing on the couch in front of a dead body or a missing persons report on the news you were all curled up on the couch together watching a movie.

 

Things weren’t great anymore. No, that was an understatement. Things were horrible right now. If Ezor had to pick a time to go back to fix something she would never have joined this relationship, maybe she wouldn’t have to suffer through the grief and heartache as she was now.

 

Ezor thought of a lost time where all five of them were just happy. That emotion was long gone by now, just a whisper in the past. Happiness was rare nowadays after everything that happened, hell, Ezor still remembered the news reports and the biting words of the past. Over the time they had all been together, fights had started to get more frequent, some people saying words they regretted much later.

 

Two words. Was it so hard to say? The words got caught in Ezor’s throat as she leaned down to the gravestone. It had been 2 years without Narti, 1 year without Lotor and 2 months without Acxa. It still hurt, but she had to stay alive for one person. One person that truly cared about her more than the other three did.

 

Ezor turned her head to the side to take a look at Zethrid’s profile. She was smiling sadly or was it bittersweetly as she set a blue rose down on top of the grave. When Zethrid turned back to Ezor she could see the sadness and dullness in her eyes. Ezor gave her a shaky smile and held out her hand to Zethrid. Zethrid was all she had left.

 

_ Two years prior _

 

_ As much as she loved Lotor, Ezor had to admit she was scared of him sometimes. Especially when he would have his little mania moments and get snippy with everyone. Often times he lashed out at people who bothered him and today was no exception. _

 

_ Ezor could tell that today was one of  _ those  _ days where Lotor got angry at everything and everyone. When he had one of these days, the girls tended to give him a wide range of space so he wouldn't get angry. It wasn't Narti's fault she was blind though. _

 

_ Narti walked over to where Lotor was working cheerfully, her pet cat Kova perched on her shoulder as she brought food over. The girls had forgotten to tell her that Lotor was in one of his moods though, so in a way Ezor blamed herself. _

 

_ It was an accident, an honest mistake made by a blind girl trying to be nice to her boyfriend. Narti had walked over, unfortunately not having her stick with her at the moment and bumped into Lotor. He had whirled around in anger and slapped her. _

 

_ The whole room was silent for a couple heartbeats before there was a quiet sob, then another, then another until Narti ran off. In those few moments where Ezor grabbed Acxa's hand to stop her from running after Narti and shook her head, Ezor ultimately sealed Narti's fate. _

 

_ They all knew Narti had been struggling with depression, but they would've never expected it to be so bad that they woke up to Narti hanging off the side of the couch, a bottle of empty pills in her hand. _

 

_ Ezor had almost screamed, correction, she did scream. Ezor had sobbed and clutched Narti to her chest, she didn't care that her body was unnaturally limp and cold. She didn't hear the pained cry from Acxa or the sharp inhale of breath from Zethrid, she didn't even see Lotor shaking his head without an ounce of regret in his eyes. _

 

_ Later that night Zethrid was the only person who came to her room, to ask Ezor how she was doing and comfort her. Ezor spilled it all to Zethrid that night, how it was her fault that Narti was dead. _

 

_ Zethrid never interrupted Ezor, she just let her talk and spill her guts until she was a sobbing mess and Zethrid pulled her into a tight hug. _

 

_ "Let go," Zethrid had said to her that night. _

 

_ So Ezor did. _

  
  


Ezor was snapped away from the harsh memories by a big hand in hers. They all used to joke around about how easily Zethrid could break their backs if she hugged them too hard or that stupid joke from middle school about 'you know what that means when your hand is bigger than your head'

 

They didn't talk as they walked home. For once the silence meant a comfortable peace and not fear. The silence was calm, not like a calm before the storm but in a comforting sort of way. For once, they didn't need words to say anything.

 

In truth, Ezor blamed herself for Narti's death. A small part of her blamed it on Lotor for snapping or the stupid depression, but Ezor knew it was her fault. Narti needed somebody like Ezor needed somebody the night Narti died. It was her fault for stopping Acxa, maybe Acxa could have saved her.

 

When they reached home Zethrid pushed open the door, it still smelled like Acxa's perfume. Another part of Ezor withered at the smell of Acxa, but there was nothing she could do about it now. Zethrid and Ezor still hadn't spoken a word to each other the whole time, but it wasn't a tense silence, more like a mourning one.

 

Ezor's hands ran over the small wooden picture frame that showcased all five of them. Ezor smiled sadly at the expressions on their faces, they all looked so  _ happy  _ together with each other. Those were back in the days where Zethrid didn't have a scar under her eye from Acxa getting angry and throwing a plate at her, back in the days where Ezor's eyes actually sparkled with life. Back then the rainbow colors in her hair had been bright and her skin healthy and glowing. Now Ezor hardly looked in the mirror, she knew the colors would be dull, her skin would be pale and sunken in and her eyes no longer filled with the same light they used to have.

 

Ezor moved to the next picture, everyone had been taken by surprise when she whipped out the camera that day to take an unexpected picture. Narti looked confused, Zethrid looked a little embarrassed, Acxa was blushing furiously and Lotor looked a little shy. Ezor's eyes wandered to her own face at the top of the picture, she was looking at all of them like they were the world to her. At the time they were too.

 

Zethrid put a hand on Ezor's shoulder and shook her head sadly, now wasn't the time to linger on old memories. Ezor just nodded and turned away from the pictures, she hesitated though, finally tipping both picture frames down so the pictures weren't visible anymore.

 

Ezor felt like a ghost, a shell of her old self as she walked around the nearly abandoned apartment. Lotor's stuff was still scattered everywhere despite it being a year since he was gone, Ezor never had the heart to pick it all back up again.

 

_ One year prior: _

 

_ It was on the same couch Narti had died on that Ezor had heard the news. She felt numb even though Zethrid was clutching her hand tightly as an anchor. _

 

_ Lotor was missing. There was no way to put it lightly. Again Ezor had blamed herself for the bad luck of another one of her significant others. Last night they had all gotten into an argument, things were said that shouldn't have ever been said. _

 

_ "I hate you! You killed Narti!" Ezor had screamed at Lotor, just to make him feel half of the pain she felt. It was a petty move to bring up the death of Narti, but Ezor was spiteful at that moment. _

 

_ The whole reason the fight had started was from something stupid, soon it escalated into a full-blown argument though. Accusations and harsh words were thrown around the room that night and by the end of it Zethrid had a nasty cut under her eye and Lotor was storming out of the apartment. _

 

_ The last words that Ezor screamed at Lotor were "Don't come back!" and he did exactly that. Ezor regretted the words she had said, especially her last ones because Lotor never did come back. That was the last time anyone ever saw him. _

 

_ The only reason they heard about it was because of the news. Acxa always used to watch the news with a cup of coffee in her fluffy pajamas, so when she saw it she called everyone into the room. _

 

_ The headline of the news was: Zarkon's Son Goes Missing and then a busty blonde began to talk about it. The last time anyone saw him was when he exited their apartment after the fight. The girls fought valiantly to try and find Lotor but it was for nil. _

 

_ After a while, Ezor just gave up. _

 

Ezor's smile was bittersweet. Her hands dancing around the stupid snow globes Lotor used to collect but never moved one from their spot. After a year they were starting to get dusty.

 

Moving away from the shelf, Ezor trailed around Lotor's old room. She eyed his dark purple velvet sheets and canopy bed he insisted he have and almost laughed, keyword being almost. With a sigh, Ezor sat on the bed, the duvet rustling underneath her weight. It hadn't been sat on in a year now.

 

Of course, Ezor missed Lotor. Even when he got in those moods afterward he was the kindest and most caring person. All five of them all really loved each other. It all really started to go downhill after two years of dating.

 

It was no longer and perfect peachy relationship. Their honeymoon period had long past since then and they started to get snippy at each other. Besides that, nothing was wrong.

 

Well at least until Narti had to be put into the hospital for attempted suicide during their 2nd year of dating. That had caused everyone to play the blame game with each other. Then started Lotor's mood swings and Acxa's coldness and Narti's distance.

 

Yes, it was a toxic relationship but Ezor really loved all of them. She couldn't think of a time where she didn't love them or when she would ever stop. Even when Acxa left.

 

_ Two months prior _

 

_ Acxa had approached Ezor after her overnight shift at the grocery store. Her eyes looked dull and lackluster, with dark circles underneath her eyes that made her face look even more gaunt. Ezor began to greet Acxa when she was cut off swiftly. _

 

_ "I can't do this anymore." _

 

_ Those 5 words destroyed Ezor even more. Another part of her heart wilted at the pure exhaustion and regret on Acxa's face. For the first time since Lotor's disappearance, Ezor had started to cry. Not full out sobbing, just a numbness while tears slipped down her cheeks. _

 

_ Acxa explained. She had a good reason to leave too. Being in this relationship and watching everything being destroyed around her, she didn't want to be in it. Along with that Acxa became paranoid. Ezor should have seen it from a mile away. Acxa's eyes were darting around the room rapidly like she was just waiting for someone to try and kidnap her or someone to try and kill her. Ezor felt a pang of sadness at Acxa. _

 

_ She had found a place to live easily. A place where she didn't have to work so hard to provide for three people and an apartment. There was only a quick goodbye before Acxa left like a tornado, taking everything she had. Including another part of Ezor's heart, she crushed beneath her black boot. _

 

_ Ezor would like to think Acxa at least looked back before she ran away. _

 

"I miss her."

 

A silence. A heartbeat. "Me too." came the simple answer.

 

The footsteps came closer to Ezor and where she was looking at a photo of her and Acxa in Acxa's old room. It hurt only a little.

 

Arms wrapped around Ezor's waist and Ezor tilted her head back to look up at Zethrid. This was the first time they had spoken all day. "It's gonna be alright."

 

Ezor gave Zethrid a bittersweet smile and relaxed into the hug. No, things wouldn't ever go back to normal. Ezor would never be the same as she was 4 years ago. Narti and Lotor and Acxa would never come back but Ezor had Zethrid. She only stayed alive because someone needed her alive.

 

And that's all she needed.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Did you guys enjoy? Do you want to kill me now :))) Leave a comment and it'll make my day


End file.
